Ya gotta accentuate the positive...

We are nearing the end of our second week of isolation here on the east coast of the USA. It was tougher this week, than last, as reality set in: as political agenda began to permeate the decision making of our leaders, as our kids grew restless, as we grew anxious about being able to provide for our families, while also keeping them healthy. I will NOT comment with my personal opinions of what’s happening in our government right now. I WILL say, that regardless of what aisle any of us are on, it’s highly disconcerting when we lack faith in our leaders…not just one of them, but all of them. It’s scary to feel as though the people we have entrusted with our lives, freedoms, and well-being, can’t seem to come together for the greater good. It leads to an even greater sense of desolation, and disillusionment.

I’m generally an upbeat person, but I felt a need to address the emotional turmoil we are dealing with. Anything less than “real,” would negate the purpose of sharing, and may give the impression that I have no clue what’s going on in the world, while touting my “positive vibes,” message. I REALLY do. I’m feeling all the angst, too. I’m a widowed parent, and if something happens to me, my kids become orphans. If something happens to someone they love, I have to guide them through another devastating life event. The threat is real, as is the worry. But, I am also well versed in redirecting my thoughts, because as worried as I am, in the words of one very wise Van Wilder, “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.”

So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m going to share today’s “tip” to staying sane in the time of Covid-19 quarantine:

Accentuate the positive!!!!!

I know…I can hear your collective eye roll, virtual world. Just hear me out. I don’t mean clapping your hands over your ears and pretending none of this is happening. I also don’t mean spouting religious platitudes to you about how this is all for a reason. No, no…I mean, find your way around what’s happening, to allow yourself some sanity.  

People love to tell me how strong I am; and I’m going to let you all in on a little secret…strong has NOTHING to do with it. I’m not tough as nails. I’m just someone who figured out that the only way to both SURVIVE, and ENJOY life, is to harness your ability to distract yourself when times are tough. You can’t “out-positive” a shitty situation, but you can adjust your focus.

What does that look like?

It’s different for everyone, since everyone’s circumstances vary. I’ll share what I do, so you can try some of them for yourself, or make your own list, and roll from there.

Listen to upbeat music/dance it out.

After my husband died, we began a daily routine of “dancing it out” in the kitchen after dinner, which we still do, today (3 years later). It began because dinner time was the absolute hardest time of day for me. It was when I’d used to be able to “look forward” to his arrival home from work, and sitting at the table to talk about our day. Nowadays, it’s a pre-bedtime stress reliever, a mood brightener, and often gets us giggling.

Work out. Eat accordingly.

Being sedentary isn’t good for anyone on a totally normal day, when life is all cherries and rainbows. Our bodies aren’t meant to withstand the stress of life without some chemicals, and you don’t even need a doctor to get them; they’re right inside of you, if you move your bones long enough. And while I totally “get” stress eating (I DO IT, TOO!!!), make sure to feed your body the vitamins it needs to function properly. Poor diet can lead to poor gut health, brain fog, poor sleep, and less ability to cope (YES-REALLY- do your own research on nutrition and mental health, and you’ll be astounded by the connections). There is literally no better time to get yourself into a workout routine, and better eating habits. Even my kids are benefiting. We are all sleeping better, and in better moods.

All the self-care.

Being home has afforded me the opportunity to double down on my self-care routines. Taking care of yourself is the ego boost that keeps on giving…every day I’ve used my favorite skin line (Willing Beauty), slathered lotions, painted my nails, done hair/makeup, and tried new looks. I’ve even used some sunless tanner, so that at least it doesn’t look like I’ve been mostly indoors for two weeks (I, personally, even after trying super pricey brands, love Jergens Natural Glow). It doesn’t have to be expensive. If you use Pinterest, you’ll find so many “DIY” recipes for scrubs (coffee grinds and honey, say what???), masks, and lotions. It’s the best of both worlds! It kills time, AND it makes you feel better.

Cry/Let it take you under for a minute

It sounds counterintuitive, but letting your emotions fester without release will only perpetuate the negative feedback loop in your head (you can thank Mark Manson for this info: Feedback Loop From Hell – great read/explanation of this phenomenon). For me, in order to get past feeling like shit, I have to LET MYSELF FEEL LIKE SHIT. Then I need to cry, and move on with my life.

Gratitude lists

I know! What the hokey hell is this??? But really, when you focus on the stuff you already have, the stuff that REALLY MATTERS, it really does calm down some angst. This is my list for today: My children, who, for today, are healthy, happy, well fed, clothed, and kept warm by our home. My own heart beating. My ability to move my body. Love of family. Love of friends. My kids’ ability to remain connected to their educators, friends, and family. Our fur family that are keeping our home filled with joy, and unconditional affection. Technology,
and our access to it (could you IMAGINE if this happened in the 80’s?? Lawd, I can’t!).

Of course this is just a smidgeon of self distraction, that doesn’t include the obvious (all the amazing ways to stay connected, virtual EVERY kind of class, access to every book ever written, trying new recipes, starting
a fight club in your basement, etc), which I will happily cover another day.

But for now, dear friends, let’s all just do our best. Let us show our kids, and the world, that we can come together, even when we disagree; that we can survive, and even thrive, when things seem bleak. They’re looking to us to figure this stuff out…let’s not let them down. XOXO